builders

we all (at least i hope!) have people around us that build us up, who inspire us to do our best.  there are those who sit quietly in the back ground then swoop in to hold you up when life seems to be especially difficult.  what about those cheerleaders that continue to encourage you to keep going and let you know that you can do it!  i feel so blessed to have many of these people in my life.

last year at this time, i broke my leg and had to have a titanium rod put into my femur.  so many people came to help me with feeding my family or getting my kids where they needed to go.  there was one friend who touched my heart so deeply with her simple act of kindness.  i have known this friend for many years.  we go to the same birthday lunches for mutual friends, chat in the hall at church, store, or school.  we are not best friends, just friends.  after i got home from the hospital, my friend became more than just a friend: she became a true friend.

for those of you who don't know, i am a quadriplegic.  while i am very blessed because i can live independently despite my disability, my broken leg made me dependent on others to do simple tasks, like getting into bed.  my friend would come every day after lunch to help me get into bed so i could nap, rest and heal.  after i was in my bed, she would snuggle me under a blanket and quietly slip out the door.  she did this selflessly for a month.  she showed me the meaning of true friendship.  i am forever grateful for the lesson she taught me.

my biggest cheerleader is my sweet husband.  even when i get out-of-control ideas and he hears things like, "i'm going to make a bed!" he never tells me "no" or "you can't do that!" although i do get an occasional look of terror on his face!  it's because of him i have a web site and that i'm writing this blog.  he encouraged me in june 2009 to start speaking to groups professionally.  although i have spoken to thousands of people and hundreds of different groups and organizations, it was for fun, not as a profession.  i tried to "give it a go" a year ago, in a surprising turn of events, i got nervous and scared about something i loved and enjoyed doing: speaking.

and so we return to my husband, who through his patient encouragement, helped me to realize that i can fulfill my dream of public speaking.  i have overcome the doubts and fears i was having and now i'm on my way!  which leads to my next group of people who leave me humbled and amazed at the support that has been shown me...and that group is YOU!

i want to thank all of you for the outpouring of love and support from you, my new blog friends.  i am extremely humbled at the views on my blog from all over the world, for my new followers, and especially for the beautiful comments that were written--they brought a smile to my face and tears to my eyes.  thank you for being builders, for inspiring me to be better, for being my cheerleaders.  thank you for teaching me to share those good thoughts i have about others instead of keeping them to myself.  for that, i am forever grateful.

try

the absolute love of my life up to the age of 16 was dance.  i loved to dance.  tap, jazz ballet, modern, and clogging were all types of dance i enjoyed doing.  i also enjoyed playing the piano.  two months after my 16th birthday my life changed dramatically.  i was in a car accident in which my neck was broken, my spinal cord was damaged and i was left a quadriplegic.  so not only was i unable to dance, i wasn't able to play the piano either.  (i still can pick out any song and play it with one finger...my kids are amazed at this feat!)

although i still get the urge at times to jump up and dance, i've found other loves in my life.  i love to cook and bake.  trying new recipes and tweaking them to my liking makes me happy. i feel very blessed  in two aspects in this area:  i have a kitchen that has been designed and built around my needs (being "wheelchair steph" and all!) and i have the use of my thumb on my right hand.  this enables me to use knives (a scary thought, i know.), to hold pans or bowls, to stir, turn on the stove or oven,  and use a mixer.  while some things turn out better than others, my husband said have never cooked him anything inedible in 17 years.  what a great complement!  come over sometime and i'll whip you up something tasty....

another love is crafting.  i love to create things.  after my accident i wasn't sure if i would be able to cross stitch, which i liked to do before. i figured out how to do it again, even with the compromised use of my hands.  i like other types of needlework too.  with the niffty knitter loom, i can knit hats for my kids.  my friend candace has enabled me to make wood crafts--she cuts the wood out with a variety of different saws (i am so grounded from power saws--just think about that for a minute and you'll know why...if you can't figure it out here's a hint:  my license plate says "oops"!) anyway, i love to paint the creations she cuts out i.e., pumpkins, snowmen, ornaments, nativity scenes, stars, flags.  i usually have something fun on my porch we've made together.

about 6 or 7 months ago i found the best website!  a lady named ana white post plans and instructions on how to make furniture--the kind of furniture i love but never want to pay the out-of-control prices charged. (check out her blog at www.ana-white.com you'll love it!) i'm not sure what came over me, but since my 3 year old needed to get out of her crib, i decided i wanted to make her a bed.  yes, a bed.  i probably should have started my furniture making adventure on something a bit smaller, but she needed a bed!

the major problem i have is that, while my right thumb works and is strong, my left thumb is very weak.  i can't hold a nail to hammer, so how am i going to build a bed?  i found a new love in my life:  it's called an auto hammer and it's f.a.n.t.a.s.t.i.c.  that's all i wanted for my birthday, and being a good husband who listened, that's what my sweetheart got me for my birthday.

so with use of my new tool i hammered away building the headboard and footboard.  i also learned how to use a drill to countersink the screws, i used a sander (i learned i needed to sand MORE than i did), i painted the bed (not sure i'm in love with the color, but it's o.k.) and with a little help here and there--attaching the posts to the head board and assembling all the parts when i was done--i actually built a bed for my daughter. 

sometimes in life we need all we need to do is TRY.  we need leave our comfort zone to try things that sometimes seem impossible or scary or maybe a little crazy.  how do we know if we can do it until we try?  i didn't know if i could do anything with my new life until i tried, including a simple thing like feeding myself or something a bit more challenging...like building a bed for my daughter.

kids

last week as we were waiting for our oldest son's football game to start, a young boy about 7 years old approached.  he was throwing a football in the air as he asked our second son if he wanted to play. without hesitation and a shrug of his shoulders came the reply, "sure." off they went to play football for the next two hours.


this situation happens almost everywhere we go: in line at the grocery store, the park, church functions...where ever we go my children can find a best friend.  they don't care what they look like, where they go to school, what kind of house they live in.  all my boys want is for someone about their same age to play with.


as i watch this scenario play its self out again last saturday,  i have reflected on what a different world this would be if we could all just be more child-like.  here's some things i have obsevered while watching the children around me, that if put into practice, can make our lives better.  here we go!

• kids don't judge.  they will love you and be your best friend just because you're YOU.

• kids forgive (and forget) easily.  they don't hold grudges.  if they get mad or upset, just wait a few minutes and everything will be right in the world again.
  

• kids are curious...and therefore ask questions.  i have kids ask me all the time why i'm in a wheelchair and it's the adults around them that shush them or hurry them along.  it's not like my chair is a secret!  i love to explain to them what happened and to teach them about the imporatnce of wearing a seat belt. could we improve our lives be asking questions when we're curious?  how many misunderstandings or disagreements could be avoided if we would simply humble ourselves and ask the things that are on our mind?

• kids live in the moment.  they dance like no one watching, try new things without fear,  and tell you what they're thinking.  they jump in puddles, do somersaults in the grass, and get dirty without a second thought that they might be wearing their good shoes.   now as adults we know that this isn't always appropriate, once-in-a-while it's great to not worry or care what others might think.  act a little goofy, be a little silly and live in the moment! 

i know i've thought once or twice that kids have too much energy.  if i could figure out how to bottle that energy and then sell it, i could have the chance at the title "richest person on earth".   since i'm not sure how to do that, i figure i can incorporate some of the other strengths i've observed in kids into my life so i can become a just little bit richer anyway.