example

yesterday was "one of those days". once i left the house, it was just go, go, go from one appointment to another, to another until we finally got home at about 7:30. one of our stops was at walmart to get a prescription. while we were there, we picked up a snow shovel because we received the first snowfall of the season. did mother nature ever make up for lost time!

after walmart, we were off to take my oldest son to scouts. we dropped him off and as we were pulling out of the subdivision in the dark, cold, wintery night, i saw a figure in the driveway of a home who seemed to be struggling with shoveling the snow. i thought, "i should have my almost 10-year-old help shovel the walk, especially since we have a new snow shovel and all." then these thoughts crept into my mind: "oh...we're already past the house...i'd have to turn around and go back. besides, my son can't help shovel snow--he just got his cast off his arm today."

and i continued down the road with my excuses...

my almost ten-year-old also saw the figure standing in the driveway, struggling to shovel the snow. he shouted, "mom we've got to go back.! i've got to help that person shovel the driveway. turn around mom! we've got a go back!"

i turned the car around and headed back down the street. we found an older, heavy-set woman with a walker trying to shovel a path from the house to the sidewalk so she could get her garbage cans to the street. she struggled with every step.

my almost 10-year-old and my nearly 5-year-old jumped out of the van with their new shovels ready to work. the lady told my son that she could not pay him and she didn't need his help. my son said he wasn't asking for money and he insisted he was going help. they went back and forth a bit until the lady finally relented and let him go to work. all the while my sweet little almost five-year-old was shoveling away as fast as she could go!

soon the path was cleared, the garbage cans taken to the street, the pathway sprinkled with salt, and a new friend was made. our new friend was so very grateful for my children who were willing to help her in her time of need. as we left, she asked if she could give my son a hug. {she looked like the kind of person who gives really good hugs!} she gave my almost ten-year-old a tight squeeze and thanked him again.

i learned a great lesson for my son last night. when we get those feelings, those urges, to to help someone, we need to not only listen, we need to DO. both my son and i had the same feeling: the lady in the driveway needed help. i thought about it, made an excuse, dismissed that feeling and went on my way. my almost 10-year-old had the same thought, did not make excuses, did not dismiss it and acted upon it. he saw a need, wanted to help, and he DID.

as we drove away, i told my son how very proud i was of him. this was his reply...

"i just had a feeling she needed some help and i needed to go help her. a man's got to do what a man's got to do, mom."

and do you know what? he IS a man in my book.

. . .and i SO want to be more like him.

change

change is inevitable.  we all know that.  some changes are easier to accept than others. the change that happened to me this year, i have not full come to accept  yet.  my whole world changed this year with one small sentence and a signature:

"that the bonds of matrimony  heretofore and now existing between the parties are dissolved and forever set aside, and that the plaintiff is granted a divorce from the defendant."

and that was it.  my marriage of 18 years, which i thought would be forever, was over.

at the beginning of 2011, my husband decided he needed a change in his life, so he abandoned me.  divorce papers were filed in the middle of the year.  by the end of 2011, a divorce was granted.  the most devastating change of my life had occurred.

this is the reason i have been missing in action from this blog, so forgive me.  at times, i wasn't sure i was going to make it through the hardness of what i was going through.  at one point i wondered, if i had a choice, what would i choose:  the year of hell i went through in 1987 when i was in a car accident that left me paralyzed, when i sustained multiple internal injuries which almost took my life over and over and over again,  when i spent 6 1/2 months in the hospital just trying to live....or would i choose the year of hell i went through in 2011.  in my mind i chose 1987.

now that the pain of what i have endured is not so raw (it's still there, just not as intense!) and time is passing, i'm not sure which trial i would go through if i had a choice.  all i do know is that divorce is more painful...

through this change in my life, i am learning many great and wonderful things. i've learned that i am stronger than i ever thought. i've learned i can do really hard things. i've learned that i will not break. i've learned kindness, humility, love, patience and hope.  i've learned, amidst the most terrible experience i've been a part of,  life is still good.  have you ever heard the expression "what  doesn't kill you only makes you stronger?"  if that statement is true, here's how i feel i should look right about now...

hee! hee! hee!

anyway, i'm making some changes.  i've updated my website at www.oop-steph.com  and if you haven't notice, i've made a few changes to my blog.  the title is the main change.  i think it suits me better.  i never liked the old title anyway...

change is good.